Mental Health, The Run, and Surprise I'm Wearing Cotton

Pre Run

Getting out early today didn't happen. I kind of regret it knowing today is another hot one. But I will be getting out later this morning. I've been struggling to wake up the past few weeks at my more normal time of 5:00 am. It's been hard because that's my decompression time. I also intend to move my Thursday and Saturday runs closer to that time. Typically when I can't wake up, it's because I am exhausted or going through a bout of depression (it feels more like the latter). When this happens, I start to lose interest in everything, which is one of the indicators I watch for. My depression is due to bipolar type II, which I was diagnosed with in my late 20s (it consists of more depression and hypomanic episodes). My medication works reasonably well in keeping the hypomania away and decreasing the impact of the depression. When I go through depressive mood swings, things don't feel right. I see it happening and feel nothing can be done about it. In recent years, I have just let it happen. Which has caused longer depressive episodes that have been harder to work through. What helps me most are routines and ingrained habits that I can just do on autopilot. This reminds me of when I ran before. It was a great help because it was an ingrained habit. It helped regulate my moods because I was getting out consistently and spending less time in my head. So yeah, there is that. Next is to rely on my burgeoning habit of running again and getting out the door.

The Run

My run went quick today. I was surprised at how time went by. I got in the right space mentally while I was out there. Thinking more about the run itself than everything else going on. My goal was 2.13 miles, so I could do 6 miles for this week. Focusing on that goal helped me to be more in the moment. While I was running, I found myself looking at the ground a lot, about 6' in front of me, instead of looking straight ahead. Doing that allowed me to push myself more and not worry about landmarks as goals. They may help some people but only help me to keep running sometimes.

I had a wonderfully irritating discovery of the cotton in some of my running socks. I was reminded why I still had so many running socks with my running clothes that I can't find. Because of how much I sweat, especially on my feet, the cotton starts to painfully remind you that it doesn't like running. I thought my socks weren't cotton at all. They have been fine so far... until today were it felt like I was walking sharp little stones for the last running portion and the remaining cooldown that I did. Cotton and running don't mix, especially if you sweat a lot. The stupid socks contain some degree of cotton. I should have looked more diligently at the packaging when I got them.

Here's my week in numbers.

  • Workout: 
    • Tues: Warmup (4) | 5-minute run / 2-minute walk x4 | Cool down (3)
    • Thurs & Sat: Warmup (4) | 5-minute run / 1-minute walk x5 | Cool down (4)
  • Total Time: 1:51:57
  • Average Split: 0:18:37
  • Total Distance: 6.01
  • Cross Training: -
  • Shoes: New Balance Fresh Foam X 880 v12

That's all for today. Thanks for reading.

 -Riley

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